Do you love someone because she has a cute face, or because he has such a bubble butt? Most people get confuse between love and attraction. Love isn’t just about their physical asset are but if they make you a better person and complete you.

Have you ever said to yourself, “I’m not happy with myself because I’m overweight” or “I am impatient”. How about the most common one I’ve heard “I don’t like where my life is heading”.

2. What We Might Believe.

We live in a world that seems to encourage all of us human beings to live in victim mode. We tend to believe, and are encouraged to believe by the media and the popular culture, that we are essentially helpless when it comes to changing ourselves and our lives. We believe we must settle for our lot in life, we must accept what chance has dictated for us, we must allow ourselves to be controlled and manipulated by outside forces while on the inside we feel powerless to resist or to change. This is an overpowering emotion that causes us to suffer needlessly and to see living as a constant struggle. But the truth is that every human being has the power to change.

2. The Reality

You can do anything you want to do and have anything you want to have, while becoming exactly what you want to become. This is a secret handed down through the ages by esoteric teachers and in relatively unknown spiritual teachings and practices. They encourage you to see that you are the source of all that happens in your life, and the creator, ultimately, of your world and your life. Modern science has confirmed the basic correctness of this point of view in many ways, but it remains specialized knowledge that is little known or understood.

3. You Have The Power

You have this ability because everything in the world is a mental creation, a product of thought, brain function, and sensory input. We have gotten glimpses of this truth but it is thought of in a kind of superficial way. The idea, for example, that our senses are like filters, receiving data from the world out there and putting it together into what we perceive as reality, is fairly well-known. But we still think of our essential selves as something apart from that creative process. We make the world around us each nanosecond by taking the data coming in and arranging it into what we recognize – but we also make ourselves in the same way. Every thought, emotion, sensation, memory, and mental phenomenon is actually created by you. But this power is unseen, unrecognized, and not seen for the great gift that it is.

4. Using the Power to Create a Different World

You can use this knowledge to change your life. Your thoughts and the quality of the energy you produce can be harnessed to make the changes that you want to make. No matter what your experience has been or how powerless and hopeless you may feel, it is within your grasp to create a different world, a different life, a different you. But it is such a simple truth that most people can’t just hear it and accept it and decide to learn how to do it. They actually argue against this new approach to life and struggle against it by defeating it. If you can be different than the herd and see the power of the idea of creativity in life, then you have won half of the great battle. The rest is a process of practice and continual learning and improving. You have the power to change, but you have to learn to use it by first accepting it as truth, then putting this truth into practice.

Today for me makes a milestone of another broken heart, one of many in my life. Whether you going through it the first time or the 100th time, it doesn’t make it any easier.

I’m not going to say it’s easy to move on even though I know the theory and have first hand experience but the next step is within my control and not let it hinder me from moving forward with my life.

It’s like receiving a cut to the hand, the pain is there but you know it will heal with time. And with medical treatment it will speed the process. Medical treatment is not a metaphor for getting drunk or taking drugs as most people fall into, but the knowledge of understand the pain and applying to the wound everyday till it is fully healed.

There are a few things we need to understand and change our thinking. Consider this the medication for broken hearts.

1. Saying Goodbye

Sometimes it’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that doesn’t want to stay, but it doesn’t make it any better to try and hold him or her back.

2. It Takes Two Wings to Fly

Understanding reality that it isn’t going to work out if both parties are not committed. Like the theme song to a different stokes “now the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum, what maybe right for you, may not be right for some” or the saying “what is the sound of one hand clapping?”

3. Reconstruct Our Future to Avoid Deep Depression

My world that have catered for her, the image in my head of us being together for eternity, came crashing down and partly this is why most people fall into depression. We have to understand, we as humans have the ability to reconstruct a new future, every single day, every single hour, every single second. The choice is ours. Read more on “Depression is the inability to construct a future”

4. Opportunity Awaits.

As one door shuts another will open. We have to believe we are moving in the right direction towards another door and not just sitting still waiting for something to change. Believe me, I’ve sat down hoping something to change and 2 years had gone by.

5. Understand Yourself Before Committing to a Relationship

It’s a natural reaction to jump into another relationship after breaking up, for the fear of .. being alone, to mask the pain, or what ever other reasons maybe, but it has a higher chance to damage the new relationship. The pain, anger and by products of a break up still is lingers your system, and your action will amplify dangerously with your new partner. You need a good friend, a buddy anyone that will listen and that you are not committed to emotionally.

6. Thank Your Partner

This is a hard one for people to comprehend, but is to thank your partner for being in your life. If you haven’t change or learned anything about yourself in that relationship, then the relationship wasn’t a good one to start with. Some people may disagree with me, but I believe relationship is about growing together, not just physically but emotionally. It’s about trying to be a better person in the relationship.

So for those couple out there, today shouldn’t be the only day you need to show how much you love your partner. Everyday should be a valentine’s day. Cherish and appreciate each other, learn and grow.

Those singles out there, by choice or haven’t find the right one… it’s only the 14th of February, just another day. But if you waiting for the right one, maybe read this “Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to walk into someone else’s”

So you want to jump start your career, love life or increase your personal satisfaction by living a passionate life but not sure how to do it? If you admire Steve Job’s ability to take his passion and turn it into a global empire or wish you could speak publicly with as much confidence and excitement as the CEO of your company, you’re not alone. And, the great news is, living a life out of passion is reachable.

So, what’s the secret? Finding a mentor that’s achieved the kind of passionate life you strive for.

Your Ordinary – But Extraordinary – Mentor

If you’re prideful about following another’s steps to success, don’t be. The greatest inventions in the world haven’t been without the help of other’s before them. Elvis didn’t just come up with the legendary hit, Hound Dog by himself. He relied on the help of those passionate musicians before him, the blues artists of the Harlem Renaissance – normal, everyday African-American’s who used music as a way to escape from their dire, slavery imposed circumstances.  Mentors come from all walks of life, which is why it’s so important to be on the lookout for yours! Find a mentor and live a passionate life as they do!

1. No More Excuses.

We can’t help it. No matter how much passion we may have for playing the drums, writing children’s books or trying new and eclectic foods, we need to express ourselves. But, whether we have a microcosm of passion or constant, daily passion for what we love to do, our ‘real life’ can get in the way. Paying the bills, working our routine 9-5 job and caring for our families can leave us feeling like there is literally no time left to work on our ‘passion projects’. We were born to write, but we can’t, life won’t let us, we need to sleep. No more excuses!

2. They Hold Us Accountable.

One of the biggest benefits of a mentor is their ability to hold you accountable for your actions. Consider seeking out a local mentor (as opposed to a world traveling famous one) that you can personally interact with and generate the change in your life that you crave. Have you always dreamt of being a motivational speaker? Join your local toastmaster’s group and find an experienced speaker in your group you can learn from. Ask him/her questions about their experience, what they’ve learned, what they can possible teach you about motivating groups of people.

3. They’ll Act As Your Cheerleader.

Everyone needs encouragement, regardless of age or experience. A mentor can be the perfect ‘cheerleader’ to root you on, praise you when you achieve your goal or just be there to give encouraging words of wisdom when you’re lacking the luster to press forward.

4. They Encourage As No One Else Can.

Developing an ongoing relationship with a mentor in your town or city has many benefits, with a main one being their ability to encourage you in a face-to-face setting. Arrange a meeting with your mentor when you’re finding it difficult to move past your comfort level, reject the negative attention you’ve received about your latest book proposal or just doubt your ability to make those passionate dreams of yours come true. A mentor can and is often the driving force of your success.

5. They’ll Warn You About Their Pitfalls and Failures.

There isn’t a great artist, athlete or President that succeeded without the help, encouragement and enthusiasm of a mentor to motivate them along the way. A mentor can not only motivate you but teach you what they’ve learned that can often make or break your success. If you’re idea of a passionate life is being a travel blog writer, reach out to a professional who’s already accomplished it. What did they learn that helped them go from local journalist to world traveler? How did they get employed with Lonely Planet as one of their top writers? What did they learn about effective journalism and how to convey interesting content to their audience about traveling to Tokyo or Fiji?

Soak up as much information as you can about your mentor’s experience, knowledge and insights. You’ll live a passionate life in no time at all, and with your mentor to thank for it. Insist on passion by doing what you love and you won’t ever go wrong.

We become our experiences. If that’s really true, shouldn’t we do what we love?

Finding your passion can be tough, I know it was for me – but what’s even tougher is going through the motions of life that lacks any drive or excitement altogether. As I had mention in my last article “If There Is No Passion in Your Life, Then Have You Really Lived?” passion plays an very important part to our life and it’s purpose.

Negativity really does surround us. It may come in the form of the vibe we get from our underappreciated boss (that makes it difficult for him to appreciate the work you’re doing.) It’s that customer in front of you at the grocery store that’s griping about the high price of milk. It’s your children who are feeding off of the many forms of media convincing them that violence, bad language and even worse behavior are rewarded – and not the other way around. This kind of world makes finding your passion a tough thing to do, and in my opinion all the more reason to do it.

Me? I don’t struggle anymore with living a passionless life. I’ve found it and believe whole-heartedly that you can, too. No more going through the mind set of same thing different day.
Don’t be fooled. It hasn’t been easy. Deciding to live a passionate life has been a rocky road of mishaps and failures. It’s been 1,001 mistakes of choosing the wrong career, relying on my intellect instead of my intuition and trusting other’s judgment over mine. However – no matter the mistakes I made, I also made a conscious choice to try, try and try again and forge ahead into the possibility of what could be a thriving career for myself and what would give me the most satisfaction with the skills I have. No matter what mistakes I made along the way, one thing never wavered. I always believed in myself, which tends to go hand-in-hand with living a passionate life.

One of my passions is playing the guitar, more specifically the acoustic guitar. It’s just not about playing the music, but the feeling deep inside that channel out into the music. And with that music, I want to be able to share with and inspire others.

So, what’s your calling? What is the one thing about yourself that remains to be an extension of yourself, something that even if you weren’t making a cent off of, you couldn’t live without doing? Here’s some pointers to help you live, breathe, work and play with passion 24/7.

1. What Do You Love Doing?

The good news is that everyone has a unique skill or talent. Spend some time with what gets you up and moving in the morning. Is it finishing that poem you started a month ago? Do you feel a rush of adrenaline every time you volunteer at the local hotline for abused women? What makes you feel fulfilled?

2. Focus On Positivity

No matter what you’re most passionate about in life, there will be a fair amount set backs. Think positive day and night. Imagine (or visualize) what your ideal life looks like from head to toe. Believe in your skill (that no one can offer but you!) and stay focused on positive thoughts, images, quotes and people that will encourage your dream.
Learning the guitar is no easy task. The physical pain and the tear in your fingers would have put anyone off, but even with the pain, my love to inspire is greater than my own and therefore I couldn’t let that set me back. I had visualized me sitting down playing for my whole family during Christmas, playing for my partner on a Sunday morning during breakfast out in the sun.

3. Focus On Small Goals to Obtain the Big Ones.

Going from a 0 to 100 mindset doesn’t happen overnight. Being devoted to your passion takes time, which is why it’s necessary to take small steps in order to turn your passionate dreams into a reality. What can you do today to strive towards living that life? Make a list of all “obstacles” standing in your way as well as alternative solutions to overcoming them. Start with small changes and focus on the steps at hand. Refuse to look forward into the future with an “I can’t” attitude.

Doing what you love is about staying in the moment. Its trial and error, never giving up, falling off the horse and using all of your strength to get back on again. There’s no fun in the well traveled path. Instead, enjoy walking down the road that no one has walked down before with a particular skill set that no one else can match and see what develops. In my experience, by following your passion you’ll find adventure, inspiration and the ability to be your best possible self.

Many of us at one time or another feel a lack of luster for life. Our career may become stale; our relationship may be so routine we stop acknowledging there was ever passion in it to begin with. It’s when we don’t take action and fuel our deepest desires that we begin to dwindle by simply going through the motions instead of engaging with what we love to do.

Living a Passionate Life Means Finding Your True Purpose In Life

Following your heart and being authentically you.  Whether that takes the form of a baker, a candle stick maker or leaving your dead end job and going into business for yourself, creating your life is only possible with the passion that fuels it into action. Sometimes it could be a realisation of something bigger than you, to help others, to raise awareness for a cause.

It’s Easy To Travel The Well-Paved Path.

We may despise those unfortunate ‘surprises’ life can throw at us, being the victim of the latest downsizing at your company, relationship ending or just being caught in rat race day after day.  When we choose to live a passionate-free life by simply going through the motions of our days, weeks and years, there’s a price to pay.  We begin ignoring who we really are, who we’re really supposed to be and what we are truly capable of achieving.

One of My Passion in Life

The passion that is close to my heart is to help men with low self-confidence and esteem issues and create awareness by sharing and listening. Sometimes that’s all it takes, for someone to be there. This came to me, as a tragedy happened to a friend of mine, who believed that not existing in this world, was less painful.

It really fuels my soul when some of the guys I had taken the time and listen to them transform, conquering the world, believing in themselves with pride and confidence because they believe in themselves as much as I had believe in them. I’ve had first hand experience and understand the pain, confusion that is going through their mind.

Fork In the Road

We’ve all been faced with a fork in the road, but which direction you choose is entirely up to you. Choose the left, or right, or the middle road that you’ve taken time and time again. But, this time, as your life changes direction yet again, why not seize the day?  Transform your thinking with a ‘can-do-it’ attitude. Focus on what you love to do, whether that’s being a great listener, inventing interesting soda flavors or creating children’s stories.  Focus on the passion –the act of what you’re doing, and anything that you desire can be achieved. Walk along the road less traveled and you’ll find yourself living an exciting, uncharted life that only you can succeed at!

Take advantage of the opportunities before you to transform your passion into action. Trade in your passion-less life for a passionate filled one. Dare to dream beyond what your wildest imagination concocts. Begin recognizing the many opportunities that surround you day in and day out. Take advantage of that co-worker who is always looking for an investment opportunity and partner with him on your latest invention. Begin by waking up in the morning, thinking: “Yes! I can and will bring my dreams into action!” instead of “Another day, another repetitive day at the office.”

Take a dance class, finally begin writing that children’s book you’ve dreamt of, reach out to others in your local soup kitchen, travel to Indonesia or just trade in hours of watching sitcom reruns for being outdoors in nature.  Whatever your idea of passion in life is, go there, sit with it and enjoy your life as you never have before. Wherever your passion lies, go to it, and leverage your current situation to the one you have dreamed of. Fail, and try again. Look out for doors that open up before you. Perfect your craft, ignore criticism and surround yourself with positivity. By doing this, your passion for life will transform every dream you have into action.

I am sure most of you know Pal Pay, but for those who don’t; Pay Pal is an online business that allows payments to be made through the Internet. I’ve been using Pay Pal for a few years to do my online shopping and have been very reliable until recently.

So my recent transaction online was purchasing wall stickers to bring some life into my apartment. Waited for few days before contacting the seller to find out when it was dispatched. It was confirmed that it went out the day of order, Great!. Then double-checked my invoice, I had noticed PayPal had send the correct address but without my apartment number. Notified the seller immediately, upon the delivery of my undelivered parcel if they could redirect with my apartment number.

So the result after 14 days was the parcel had gone AWOL somewhere in Australia and my upset grew as you could imagine.

Who Was to Blame?

1. PayPal at fault: PayPal had an error on their system, which had informed the seller of the wrong address. Many forums had reported this problem so I wasn’t alone in this fight. A complaint was lodge regarding the buyer’s protection policy (where you get your money back for undelivered items) but was quickly rejected.

2. Seller at fault: Why on earth would someone send goods without some way of tracking it? I would have paid the extra money to get it registered, as I would like to know where my items are at all times. This also will benefit the seller as well as the buyer. It’s a proof of sending and receiving the item.

3. Me at fault: As someone who has bought many things online, I got too complacent with the system without checking the shipping date. If I had spotted and rectify the error, I wouldn’t be writing this blog post.

My expectation, My upset

As I was getting to the boiling point of my upset because no one wanted to take responsibility including myself, I realise that getting upset wasn’t worth the energy. The reason I got upset was the expectation that had put into the parties involved.

I had no right to blame the seller because it was only my expectation that registering products was the standard practice. He didn’t quote or indicated that this was going to happen and was only an assumption that I had made.

Like other systems, they are prone to errors and PayPal was no different. I had to just admit sometimes technology fails and its just part of us to never trust it 100% and double check everything.

What Would It Have Affected and What Was the Trade Off?

$100 is a lot of money to some and loose change to others. I fall in the first category, but what I had to think was how much would this upset cost me? Money is important to survival but time is in my opinion is in somewhat priceless.

When I thought about who maybe affected by my upsets other than myself, it was easy to let go.

Quality of Me: It would be extremely difficult for me to concentrate on things that really matter. Take my work for example. I had some urgent issues to deal with and two things could have happened:

1. The pressure would have build up like a pressure cooker till I’ll explode; blaming someone or anyone for the problems, but actually it’s the anger building inside ready to be taken out on someone.

2. Form a negative mentality. Hating my job, the company and everything to do with my current situation.

Infecting Others with My upset: We all have been around a person that has been upset. Usually two things will happen, either you take their side and bear the burden, or you try your best to calm them down and sometimes leads to adding fuel to the fire by saying the acting the wrong way.

The most important thing for me to erase my upsets as well as giving me motivation to let go was because at the end of the day, I’m looking forward to see my partner’s smile as I’ve told her countlessly that her smile are priceless, so at a price of $100 is truly a bargain.

Upset is Only Natural

Upsets can take control of our lives, and most of us can identify when we’re upset but don’t realize the ramification it has on our soul or people around us.

We may not choose who or what provoke the upsets, but we have the ability to keep it or let it go and one way is to understand the price we pay for keeping it.

I am so sick of people complaining about being single because they are waiting for the right one to make a grand entrance into their lives. Let me define what I mean by the right one. It’s someone that fits his or her criteria.

It’s much like saying, “I want to be rich, but when I win the lottery”. Most things in life are not about waiting but being pro active and taking action. Having standards about your future/current partner is a good thing, but this is about changing or taking into consideration things about yourself that will make you more attractive, more together and more right to others and to yourself.

Because one-day “Mr/Miss right” may come along, but if you aren’t theirs, that would be a sad fairy tale story.

Ok! To be honest, I have no right to rant. I had the same mindset that one day my miss right, who will love me for the good and bad. Yeah right… here is what I had to offer:

I was a negative person, who didn’t listen, very self-centred, with no basic foundation (haven’t gotten my act together) and passionless.

Yeah! I was such a great catch. How many girls would say this is Mr right? The most intriguing fact was all these traits could be change but we tend to be too lazy, or worst not admitting we could have some aspect of ourselves to change to be better.

So how did I discover myself?

1. Taking Responsibility

First step to gain control of my life was taking responsibility for my actions or lack of actions. It’s easier to blame or push the responsibilities to others as it justify us for not taking our own action and there is a word for that… “Excuses”.

2. Seeing Patterns

Patterns in our past relationship are a good way of surfacing our behaviours whether it’s good or bad. It is quiet easy when your ex tells it straight to your face, or when you’ve determine the cause of the break up.

The information does not always need to be from your previous partners, but friends and families can also provide valuable information. Maybe don’t ask your mother, as she will be quiet bias.

Just ask this question: What are my strength and weakness?

Don’t get upset or defensive with the results, but learn from it because the person you will be asking will be nervous answering, praying to avoid a conflict to the friendship.

Majority of my friends and previous partners said my patterns are getting defensive, not listening and not sharing my thoughts.

Guilty! I’ll admit that, and now I am more aware, so every time when I get defensive, I will catch myself out and tell myself “listen Nigel listen..”.

3. Taking Action & Practice

I believe that if habits were created by taking action then the habits will shape my character, which will then shape my destiny.

Start being aware of the things you need to work on and practice them often with friends, families, strangers.. your pets. You get my drift; the key is to practice till it’s embedded into your character.

Currently I haven’t mastered all the changes that I’ve implemented in my life, as it will be an ongoing process.

In the End… Wait There Is No End

The people that are close to you will soon realize the changes in you. It will bring inspirational to yourself and people close to you.

My mother had notice the patience that now is embedded in me. I wasn’t a very patience guy towards her therefore she noticed it the most.

My friends now are more open towards me, sharing their happiness, concerns and upsets as I began to listen actively. Overall I am quiet happy with the progress, but the journey is not over yet, it’s just the beginning.